January 4, 2020
HI! HOW ARE YOU DOING? OH, ME? IM JUST PISSED OFF, NBD.
my parents. keep refusing to get the cat some damn help. and then ofc it pees in places it shouldn’t and poops outside the litterbox!! IT’S AN ANIMAL WHICH DESERVES CARE! IF YOU DONT CARE FOR IT, IT WILL TRY TO TELL YOU THAT IT’S SICK SOMEHOW!
but no, it’s all the cats fault. How DARE IT BECOME SICK WHEN THEY FEED THEM. IT SHOULD BE GRATEFUL WE HOUSE IT AND HAVEN’T KICKED IT OUT EVEN THOUGH I KEEP SCREAMING THAT WE SHOULD LET IT GO AND DIE ON THE STREETS DESPITE IT KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT SURVIVING OUTSIDE AND KNOWS NO ONE EXCEPT US THREE. and even I’ll be gone tomorrow so I don’t even know what it’ll do. I want to go but I want to bring it with me and take good care of it. FUCK THIS!
I also have to study for an interview on Wednesday, pack for tomorrow, send two emails to a company, go to an office that is an hour away from my apartment. I’m going back tomorrow and I’m stressed as shit. I also have 20 pages of an assignment to do and I have to get started on my research project because others are almost halfway done. It’s insanely pressurising. I feel like I suffer from executive dysfunction and I don’t know how to stop. I feel so weirdly trapped. Oh, and in these two days I also fought with both my parents because they kept saying things in a passive aggressive way. And then felt guilty about it because that’s how things go in this house. I definitely cannot survive two weeks here. On a good note, I’m going back!
I don’t know how to just be. I just had an extremely long conversation with a close friend about how he’s apolitical and how it’s SHITTY because of all the different reasons but he still thinks politics is dirty and horrible and we should stay away. And tHEN he ended the conversation without a proper response. Hella mature. Things are just insufferable at the moment and it makes me feel like I want to cry.
That’s it. I didn’t want to blog until I’d done SOMETHING productive but guess not. I finished ODAAT and I started on my interview studies, but it’s nothing.